Box of Rubbers
by SrngDrgn
Summary: Spike asks an innocent (and rhetorical) question and Buffy takes it the wrong way. Spuffy. Mild violence and lots of innuendo. One-shot.


**A/N: **So, this is a #writeworld oneshot, the prompt is bolded. I really couldn't help myself with this one. Although I don't know if Spike actually does know or not, but considering that he's a one man/one woman vamp without a soul, I doubt he had an interest in it. So yeah, for the duration of this one-shot at least, Spike has no idea what a condom is. (If I slip into present tense, please tell me. It's a habit I developed during Catch a Falling Star that I've had to correct multiple times while writing this.)

* * *

**"Hand me that box of rubbers and let's get to it."** There was a distinct lack of enthusiasm in the male's voice. Resignation and disgust apparent in his scowl and a slight tension in his broad shoulders despite the leather jacket concealing them. He shot a glance to the closed double doors and back to the suspiciously frozen girl.

The blonde stared at the man in front of her, mouth agape. "A box of... why would there be a box of those anywhere _near_ here?" she shuddered, glancing around the book-filled room around them. The familiar feeling of seclusion blanketed the library, doubled by the darkness outside. They were alone, together, without a soul for miles.

He raised a dark brown eyebrow at the girl, the color contrasting sharply with his short platinum-blond hair. "Are you _blind_, Slayer?" His gaze shot to a non-descript pink box on the checkout counter.

She gave him a confused look, "The only thing I don't see is how a _rubber_ is going to help me write this damn essay." She ended in a glare, arms folded over her chest.

"How else are you going to fix your mistakes?"

"Oh, I don't know..." she replied slowly, sarcasm apparent in her voice as she rolled her eyes, "by _not making them in the first place?_"

He let out a frustrated growl, "I don't care what your bloody problem is, but I don't see how we're going to get this blasted thing done without them."

"Why do you think we would need a whole box anyway?"

"I don't." he snapped, standing "but if _you_ won't get them, I'll do it myself." Annoyance, roiled off him in waves, putting the young slayer on guard as she also left her seat. She watched him warily as he made his way to the main desk.

"Like Giles would have a box of those." she snorted, although a hint of doubt made its way into her eyes. There was much she didn't know about her watcher. Secrets that he kept under lock and key that shook her entire perception of the man.

The vampire glanced at the door again as he picked up the pink box and deftly opened it. Shaking his head, he mumbled something about the _last_ time he tried to escape from this room. A situation _she_ had put him in, if he recalled correctly.

The slayer's eyes widened at the familiar trapezoidal shape between his fingers. "An _eraser_?"

He turned, brow raised as his eyes slowly moved from her to the eraser. "What did you _think_ I meant, slayer?" He lightly tossed the rubber eraser up in the air and the small object performed one slow summersault before landing back in his hand.

She let out a long sigh, tension leaving her body as she slumped back into her chair. A small laugh left her lips. "I knew Brits were weird, but I didn't think they were _that_ weird."

"What?"

She opened one eye, revealing a flash of green as her gaze landed on his. It lingered for a moment before disappearing behind her eyelids yet again. "Nothing. I don't want to give _you_ any ideas." There was a smugness to her voice that quite ruined the purpose of her own words.

His lips curved into a sly grin as he approached her, setting the eraser down on the equally pink notebook on the table. "Oh, you're not getting off that easy, love."

She coughed and sent him a glare at the subtle innuendo. Something she probably wouldn't have caught if not for her current state of mind. "Don't even go there, Spike." she growled, quickly putting the chair between them in one fluid movement.

He chuckled, a predatory gleam entering his dark eyes. "Now just what sent your mind so far in the gutter?" He put a foot on the seat of the chair between them, keeping her from using it as a weapon.

"Nothing you'd ever use." She scoffs, sending her right fist at his face.

He brushed her fist aside with an open palm before it could impact with its target, his fingers curling around her wrist before she can retract the limb. He tugged her towards him, pushing his left foot up and over the chair to stand beside her. "And what would that be?"

Scowling, she used the momentum of her forced spin to send her left elbow into his hard chest. While he doubled over, she tugged her arm forward to send him flying over her head. "Not telling."

Anticipating this, he tugged her down on top of him as he landed on his back, quickly moving to restrict her limbs in a full-body hug and rolling them over so she was pinned by his weight. "Now now, pet. It was just a question. No need to get so physical"

She squirmed in his grip and let out a frustrated groan, green eyes flashing in anger at the man on top of her.

"You sure you want to be doing that, love?" he teased, grinning cheekily down at her. "Not that I'm complaining." he added, pressing himself more firmly against her.

She shivered, tilting her head back and to the side to glare up at him. "Why aren't you doubled over in pain right now?"

"Well, I'm not hurting you, now am I?" he answered with a cheerful grin. "Now answer the question." His voice had a husky undertone as he dipped his head slightly and pressed his lips against her ear. "You know I can keep this up all night."

"Unfortunately." She couldn't stop the shiver that ran through her body and she knew he could feel it. "Bastard."

"Oi, I may be evil, but I am _not_ a bastard." He tugged on her earlobe, wincing slightly as the chip in his head picked up on the slight malevolence in the act.

She laughed, grinning against the hardwood floor. "Serves you right."

"Oh you're in for it now, slayer." He hissed, dipping his head further to latch onto the pulse point where neck meets shoulder. His tongue danced along her skin in teasing circles.

"What? NO. Spike, don't you _dare_ leave a mark." She tilted her head to the side only to bring it back to the right, slamming it forcefully against his. While he was busy cursing in pain, she rolled them over and slammed her elbow into his stomach.

"What, you can leave marks and I can't? Bloody hell, Slayer." he gasped out, pouting as she rolled off of him and went into a low fighting stance. One hand instinctively went to the abused flesh of her neck and her nose wrinkled as she felt the cool wetness of his saliva on her fingertips.

He sat up slowly, ignoring her hyperaware state sending her an annoyed glare. "What's so damn great about these rubbers of yours anyway."

She shifted out of her stance, but kept her distance. Frowning, she stared down at the vampire. "Well, since you're really so clueless..." She blushed slightly, but didn't dare look away. "It's what some people call condoms."

He sent her a puzzled look. "What the bloody hell are condoms?"

She stared at him, stunned for a moment, before her entire body started shaking uncontrollably. Laughter rang out, sending her doubled over in mirith. "You-... you don't know..." Another laughing fit shook her body and she found herself leaning against a table, one hand holding onto the back of a chair for support.

"What's so funny?" He snapped, eyes narrowing.

"They... they're these rubber things, that... oh god, I can't believe you don't know." Another wave of giggling fits overtook her and he scowled back at her.

"Get to the bloody point, woman!"

She coughed, and tried to compose herself, but couldn't stop grinning. "Well, you put them on your.. you know..." she gestured towards his pants, "before sex to prevent the baby making part."

He grimaced, eyes flicking from his pants and back to her. "Sounds... uncomfortable."

"Oh well, I wouldn't know." Her laugh a bit nervous as she looked away.

"What, because you've only had sex with vamps?" He teased, grinning.

She scowled and turned her head, arms crossing her chest. "No, I just happen to forget-" She jumped, startled mid-sentence as she feels his arms snake around her.

"Or do they not get far enough?" he asks, his low voice next to her ear as his hands slid down her hips. "They can't satisfy you because you have to hold yourself back."

She whirled around and poked his chest hard enough to send his ass into the chair behind him. "Shut up and sit down."

He grined up at her, eyes flashing. "You know you want me."

She sendt him yet another glare, although she couldn't stop her eyes from wandering. "In your dreams, Spike." She sat down in front of her notebook yet again and opened it up to the first blank page. "Now start talking history or I'll tie you there."

"Kinky"

"_Spike_."


End file.
